It cannot stop.

I am here. Sitting alone in my room. Crying. It's madness. It's taking so much out of me. So much words. So much thoughts. So much advice and help. I can't. I really can't. I need to stop this. I have laid all options on the table. There seems to be little left. I have laid everything out. Everything.
I've never believed in God. Entities. Or heaven or hell. But it sure feels like hell for me now. Tell me it's real God. I might need to talk to you real soon.