Do I deserve such treatment.

It's my term break week. And on top of that. It's also my birthday week. Shouldn't she just treat me a little nicer? I am expecting too much. She can't even be normal. Hpw can I expect anything (even a little) more from her? Not a single day in the week has any of our planned meetings been met. (not like anything that we've planned during our 2yrs plus together has been met anyway) Meet at 5pm. Show up at 830pm. Meet at 3 pm. Show up at 7pm. And today. Meet at 1230pm. I can't even contact her. I don't even think we're meeting. To think I was waiting for 2 hrs at the station with my car. Now I'm back here. 6pm in the evening. An entire day wasted. Doing nothing. Waiting. Waiting for what?

I think I'm really wasting my life. I'm waiting for a person who does not value time. And people around her. How can anyone who is not schooling, not working, be tired? When all she does is wake up at 6-7pm everyday and watch television. Sorry if I sound crude. I know what a bum is. But she has simply taken bum to a whole new level. At least I know some bums actually getting out of the house to chill with people doing nothing all day long. At least they look like a bum. She has taken bumming to non existance.

Then again. Maybe I'm the fool. Maybe she just doesn't want to meet me anymore. Then. It's too bad. I know the kind of person I am. And when I do things for people. I go all out. I really enjoy having people around me. Even if they don't appear appreciative.

I am going out on a ride. As soon as the bloody rain stops. And I still haven't thought of what I want to get myself for my present tommorrow. I can't possibly drop $500 on the aerospokes. With the car to pay and all the other bills my commitment for overheads are too high. I don't even know how I'll spend my day tommorrow.

It's proberbly me and my bike again.....