If tomorrow is gone. I would feel more comfort.

Ok. That title was ripped off Gardenian's song title. I heard that song on my shuffle on the way home. And it's exactly how I feel.
I have not feel so f***ed in a long time. I'm not sure if it's one of my "PMS's" Shawne likes to affectionally tag to me when I have my mood swings. But this is not just a mood swing. It's actually heavy on my heart and mind.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm busy in school. I've been riding a whole lot. And just generally being busy. I have loads more time to myself. Much more than working in an advertising firm. Although school's workload is also heavy. But not as slave driven as my previous job.

One minute I can ride my bike feeling at peace. Next minute I can be cursing the arrogant driver cutting into my lane. With explicit images conjured in my head of bashing his skull in. With my usual dose of "brains" as people who know me well would attest.

One day I can have lovely company and actually feel nice. The next day I can be wondering what is going to happen when I face my classes. Especially the ones who refuse to cooperate. Once again. I wish I could do something to thier "Brains". Literally change the way they think. (although a little blood and gore in the process would make things prettier)

I have let it eat into me a little. Much more than a little actually. And now I'm feeling it. The feeling of helplessness in the situation which I would like to actually have a say is now chewing into my brains. I shoudn't have. It seemed like something I don't come across all the time. It's good. The last was which a couple of years back. But should have known better than to let it generate itself into something I'm trying hard to control now.

I don't want to go to school. I want to actually. But I don't want to see people whom I want but don't want as well because it's messing up my head, or brains......